Two 4th grade students in Brooklyn have been arrested after allegedly trying to kill their teacher by putting rat poison in her water bottle.
What happened to putting gum on the seat or making the map do that roll up thing when the teacher goes to pull it down. Or turning all the desks around. Those are just harmless pranks. Clearly the students have "graduated" to cold blooded killers.
Meanwhile, just a few miles north in the Bronx, a substitute teacher was fired for asking her 4th grade class for dating advice.
Apparently she couldn't decide between guy A and guy B and so she asked the kids what she should do.
Now it's been a while since I was in 4th grade, but I can't imagine the dating advice from a 9 year old would be all that helpful. It probably ranges from "eeeeewwwww boys have cooties" to "just pull her hair".
But I bet the Brooklyn students would have some great advice for the Bronx teacher on how to break up when that time comes around. They could probably even teach her how to hide the body...
How about some Van Halen: